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   Welcome to the particular mental hell that many women inhabit.  In an insightful article on Tom’s Dispatch by Mattea Kramer we see how the negativity toward women in society internalizes itself and become women’s own inner self-critical voice.

 

“Girls observe and absorb such double standards, as well as the criticism they receive for speaking up. Then they police themselves. As adults in professional settings, women talk a lot less than men when they’re outnumbered by the opposite sex — 75% less, according to a team of researchers from Princeton and Brigham Young universities. And if they do dare say something, they tend to hear an inner voice telling them that they sound dumb.

“God, I just said such a stupid thing,” a campaign director at a national advocacy organization thought to herself. “You don’t want to come off as an angry black woman, do you?” said the inner critic to an executive recruiter. To a nationally recognized artist: “You sound like a dumb girl.” To a Ph.D. with a successful career in higher education, “I shouldn’t have talked so much.” And to a thirty-something paralegal: “Your boss thinks you’re an idiot, and it’s because you are one.” You can imagine how much she speaks up.

In an attempt to outrun such criticism and those voices echoing in their heads, many women wear themselves out striving for perfection. As one researcher summarized the situation, ambitious women “exist by putting out maximum energy at all times, trying to do everything and do it well. It is not enough that they attempt to be outstanding in their work; their perfection complex also causes them to strive for a Jane Fonda body, a house that could be on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens, and perfect children.” They think they’re only okay if they’re flawless — and in the end often come to believe that they’re unlovable. (Depression, as it happens, is more common among women.)

“If other people really knew you, they wouldn’t love you,” said the inner critic to a newly married woman. “You should just accept that you’re going to be alone for the rest of your life,” it said to an Asian-American woman in her thirties. To a writer and teacher who volunteers her time helping the mentally distressed, the critic, speaking of her friends, said, “Why would they love you?”

Living in patriarchy is grand eh? ” :(

 

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The darker side of Liberal ‘feminism’.

Organized religion and patriarchy, like BFF’s forever.  (*puke*)

 

I saw this posted on social media and decided after reading that it was too good not to share.  It demonstrates what the actual Radical Feminist position on the trans-narrative is, as opposed to the hyperbolic stew of lies that we’re usually exposed to .  Also, highlighted is the radical feminist notion that one must be able to name the problem to be able to properly address, and hopefully correct it.

Problems with the piece?  I challenge people who reside on the other side of the spectrum to argue against the points being made, however if your argument is simply name calling (this is transphobic!!!)  or some sort of rights based objection ( I have the right to determine how you should think about my deeply personal subjective gender delusion), know you won’t get very far.   Discussing the trans narrative isn’t violence, but then again females are never supposed to question what males say and males often react violently when challenged on their bullshit, no matter what guise they happen to be in at the time (see the men dressed as women use violence against ‘uppity females’ at hyde park in the UK, or see our violent transactivists in action here in Vancouver, Canada).

 

“Thought experiment: a transwoman, a very effeminate gay man and a drag queen walk down a road at night, perhaps a minute or two apart. Their presentation is similar; they are noticeably male but dressed in very feminine ways.

A group of hyper-masculine young men are gathered drinking on a street corner. They attack one of the three, shouting insults like ‘fag’ and ‘tranny’, and batter him badly.

1) Which one do they pick? 
2) Why?

The answer to 1) is: anyone’s guess. Which one provokes their ire probably depends on what they look like, what the young men are talking about at the time, what levels of aggression are going on in their group. In other words,it’s random.

The answer to 2) is that a feminine-presenting male threatens their view of what men are allowed to be, of what is appropriate for men. They are enforcing male gender, because seeing femininity in men threatens something in them, perhaps feminine or homo-erotic impulses they have never allowed to surface. Is it homophobia? Is it transphobia? Is it drag-queen-phobia? Do any of those terms make sense?

They make sense, sort of, when we try to define hate crimes against a marginalised group. But they don’t tell us very much about the true problem, the true cause of the atrocity, which is toxic masculinity and male violence. (And perhaps if we named crimes by the perpetrator’s state of mind instead of – or at least as well as – the group the victim belongs to, we would get a much clearer and more frightening insight into the real driver of crime and violence in this world.)

Certainly it’s not really that informative to call it transphobia if the transwoman is targeted, and homophobia if the gay male is targeted, when the perpetrator’s motive is identical: violent enforcement of male gender roles. Not if we want to address the real problem, anyway. Does it make sense to separate the terms, apart from statistical tracking?

What we can say with some certainty is that how the transwoman identifies is pretty much irrelevant to the crime. If their gender presentation is feminine, they will be a target, whereas if it’s masculine, they probably won’t be. It is how they are read externally by violent males that puts a target on their backs.

This is not to suggest in any way that the transwoman is responsible, simply to point out that an internal identity is invisible to the attacker.

Contrast this to race crimes or misogynist crimes, where the victim visibly belongs to a marginalised group; they are black, or female. The crime is still almost always male violence, but the trigger may be objectively different.

(It’s interesting and frightening to note that our society colludes, by using the passive voice in most reporting and by making perpetrator data hard to obtain, in concealing the real common factor: male violence. Because if we truly named the problem and its scale, society would collapse.)

Analogously, although not criminally, women demanding sex-segregated facilities such as toilets, changing rooms, shelters and prisons are not transphobic. We’re male-phobic, and with very good reason. Radical feminists are routinely accused by transactivists and leftist men, in very lofty tones, of reducing women to their vaginas; but a vagina is usually the site of a rape. And rapes are perpetrated with penises, not gender identities, as I’ve said before. Women are not defined by our reproductive systems, but we are certainly oppressed on the basis of them, and our vulnerability in spaces like toilets and changing rooms is physical and material, not psychological.

Telling us that we shouldn’t be ‘genital fundamentalists’ (as I was accused of being on a comment thread the other day) is in fact high misogyny. When men do so much harm to us physically, sexually and reproductively, to then turn round and tell us to focus on higher things than our bodies is to demand that we obliterate the history of violence they have perpetrated against us, and that we are bigots not to do so. Rape, battery, forced pregnancy and birth, sexual assault, sexual harassment; voyeurism, murder: these are all crimes against our bodies.

So our position is that from across the chasm of biological sex, men and transwomen don’t look that different, and they don’t behave that differently. Certainly the violence and bullying that comes from the trans community is pretty much indistinguishable from that of the MRA community, or for that matter of the lefty dudebro community.

Even friendly and pro-woman transwomen often betray unconscious male bias and male thinking, clearly without being aware of it. I saw someone explaining on a thread the other day that the differences between male and female were becoming blurrier all the time because they might be able to get a womb implant in the not-too-distant future. That that womb would mean that a woman had given up either her life or her fertility didn’t occur to this person; that it would have to come from a woman’s body, probably a poor woman exploited by organ traffickers, wasn’t on their radar. I would stand with the woman in the third world whose womb was being harvested for money, against the transwoman who starts out with a fertile male body, wanting an unnecessary implant to prop up an inner mental state. Does that make me transphobic? I think it makes me a feminist. We are women, not a mix-and-match assortment of body parts.

So transwomen, we can understand that retrieving the feminine, finding a feminine identity, perhaps even identifying as a woman may be important to you in your struggles against the gender police. But you’re demanding that we pretend that your inner state of mind makes you more like us than like a man, and that we put our safety, our privacy and all the tiny gains of feminism at risk to do so.

Sorry. We can’t do that. Quacks like a drake…”\

I’ve highlighted some bits that were not emphasized in the original text.

 

The RPOJ comes for thee.

It has been way to long since the last RPOJ post.  My apologies faithful readers.

Today’s lovely winner is Anthony writing on his blog ‘How to be Happy’ – with the catchy tagline ‘Personal philosophy driven by experience and reason’.  My suggestion is to clarify his tagline a bit, I’m thinking along the lines of ‘How to be happy’ – ‘Just get a mirror so you and I can admire the stupid bloviation drizzling straight out of my asshole. ‘

Anthony while explicitly stating that there are no judgments being made, proceeds to glorify and argue (and thus judge) for a host of negative stereotypical roles associated with females.  Surprisingly uncommon practice for dudes…

—–

“First of all, I’m fully aware that some men out there date women who are just as, if not more, successful and career-focused than they are. And I think that is perfectly fine. The goal of this piece is to explain why some people act a certain way—not to condemn anyone or state how things should be.”

I’m guessing that your piece is going to be outside the realm of sociological interviews and surveys; thus you will be taking your opinions and generalizing them to men as a whole in an attempt to make your shit smell marginally sweeter. (kinda like focusing on the corn kernels, but that might be a touch on the gross side)   

    I’m not sure what is worse, dealing with actual dirtbag MRA’s who state their misogyny straight up, or the pseudo intellectual poltroons that try to obfuscate their dire man-wank arguments in bland generalizations and stolid prose. 

“I want to address the question: Why are some men (I’d say, more than half) less attracted to women who are very career driven?”

My question is why all the damn covert ops?  These are your (thinly veiled) preferences, and in reading your article, it sounds like the ‘ideal woman’ for you is the insipid patriarchal standard woman version 1.0 – Demure, supportive, submissive and preferably pregnantly barefoot in the kitchen while being totally dependent on you and thus a slave your manly whims.  

   You sir, at your earliest convenience, fuck right off.

*Phone ringing*…

*Arbourist answers:*  What are you saying?  I’m jumping to conclusions before presenting the evidence?? – oh jebus its so painful to read this shit and deconstruct it.

*Arbourist still talking on phone:* Pulling shit out of my ass?  Fine.  FINE.   Let’s go see what Douche-stick McClown-Nozzle (‘Anthony’) has to say and demonstrate the slightly rancid smell and lousy arguments that typify his MRA’s codswallop.

 

“Why are some men (I’d say, more than half) less attracted to women who are very career driven? I think lots of women assume it comes from jealousy, insecurity, or sexist beliefs. I’ll try to present a more nuanced explanation, based partly on my own sentiments.”

Manslator:  Tut-tut! You women and your frilly pink woman brain judgments.  It will take the intellectual prowess(?) of a man to break this hard cookie of a conundrum down and show you how nuanced the answers really are.  I mean ascribing insecure sexist behaviour to men is really quite unreasonable.  Instead, let’s focus on how women’s actions are making men do bad things, because as we all know women are responsible for what men do… 

“Having children has become de-emphasized over the years, but I still believe it’s a strong motivator of serious relationships.  After all, it is a natural thing, an ability we share with other animals, and so it’s deeply rooted in our psyche: like the urge to have sex.”

Ah yes, because natural means ‘good’ right?  Measles are natural, Polio is natural yet somehow we don’t automatically make that rhetorical jump of Polio (being natural) is good because it is in nature (which is inherently good, somehow.)

    Sex is a natural act but, participating in said act are two human beings with feeling and preferences.  Some people may not like having sex it doesn’t mean they are unnatural, or wrong, it just means they are autonomous human beings with preferences of their own.  Stop moralizing on the basis of what is ‘natural’. 

“Of course, if a man plans to have a family, it’s important to him and probably not something he’ll compromise on. Plus, even if he’s not sure, but he might want one, he’s going to want a woman open to the possibility.”

Given a man’s contribution to having children is quite insignificant to the female input involved, finding a woman who wants to endure pregnancy, labour, and child rearing seems like a good plan. 

“So, suppose I am interested in kids. Suppose also that I work hard and have a stable career (after all, most successful women are attracted to men at least as successful as them). Then, I would naturally be wary about dating women who have careers that require similar or more effort than mine. The fear is that, once we have children, both of us will be too busy to give them quality time: to make their meals, help them with homework, take them to events, etc.”

You cheeky fucker.  You didn’t just dress up the patriarchal notion of women being the ‘proper’primary care givers, with concerns about (what about) the children?  Cleaning the house, cooking food, interacting with children can be done by either sex (*mindblown!*).  The notion that women should be the primary care givers and thus expected to give up their personal ambitions to raise your brood is on page one of the ‘How to Patriarchy’ manual.

   Hold on.  I might be jumping to the worse case scenario here.  Let’s wait, and see.  Perhaps Professor Dipshit von Clownstick (‘Anthony’) is going advocate for the solution of equally sharing the work between parents or a similar arrangement in which both parties make compromises in order to parent their children. 

“You might say it’s not fair to expect the woman to do be the one to care for the kids. But it’s not about fairness, it’s about compatibility. If I want a family, but I have a PhD and I’m doing research everyday and I’m passionate about it, I’m naturally going to look for a woman who has a less demanding job, so someone will have time for the kids.”

Being proved right is going to my head. 

Assumption one:  Male careers are more important than female careers. 

Assumption two: My passion for ‘x’ makes it a physical impossibility for me to take care children.

Conclusion:  Anthony needs, not a equal female human being, but rather he needs a Den Mother who has less lofty aspirations and importance in the world.  To receive sperm and raise his whelps while Anthony engages in the manly man business of being a real, successful human being. 

Also Concluded:  I am much in love with ‘natural’ patriarchal stereotypes that place my interests above those who are unlucky enough be born with a vagina. 

“And if I meet a girl who’s just as absorbed in her work as I am, I’m not going to hate on her, but I’ll be less open to a long term relationship. I want someone who complements me, not someone exactly like me.”

Because having to do equal time on the second shift is completely unacceptable!  I have the man-parts that naturally disqualify me from such unsavoury scut-work.  (*near terminal eye-roll*)

“Finally, there is the fear that a career-focused woman will wait before having children, or put her job before her family.”

Oh you mean put her interests first and achieve for herself instead of being the submissive self sacrificing walking womb that you desperately desire.  Anthony, your take on the humanity of female-folk seems rather dim.  

“Personally, I find women who place their personal material success before their family life unattractive. Again, I am not judging them; it is just how my attraction works. And I believe a lot of men (and women) feel the same.”

Men place material success ahead of their family all the damn time.  In some places in the world, where your patriarchal (wet-dreams) stereotypes are not as strictly enforced, I’m deeply sorry (not sorry) that you have to deal with these uppity women and their notions of autonomy. 

    Also, was I not totally right on scrying that “a more nuanced explanation” would equal -“pulling my own sexist stereotypes out of my ass and generalizing them to look more palatable” 

Boom. 

“As I said, it seems common that successful women like men who are at least as successful as they are. The problem is, men with intense jobs like someone who balances them out, not someone exactly like them.”

Manslator:  I want a domestic servant and someone who prioritizes my needs over their own. 

“For example, imagine I’ve had a long day doing research, and I’m a bit stressed. I’d rather come home to a wife who could ask me about my day and have a meal ready and diffuse my stress with a carefree attitude, than a wife who had an equally stressful day and wants to vent about it. “

Because women should not talk about their stress, man-stress is much more important, because men say so. 

“Also, if I am naturally a very busy person, it will be hard to schedule quality time together if my partner is just as busy.”

JFC.  I haven’t looked at any more of Anthony’s blog, but I can bet he’s also an egalitarian, at least as far it means – “I get to do what I want as my boundaries are sacred, *you* on the other hand, are going to have to schedule yourself around me and the other inconveniences of adult life. 

“I can’t generalize, but I can say that in my limited experience, on average, I’ve found women who are more career focused to be harder to get along with.”

  Really?  I just can’t see it.  Women who have to put up and compete against misogynistic men in the work place don’t have time for your vacuous patina of woman hating pablum?  

  Shocking.

“I think some women have experience with men doubting their competence, and so they react by always trying to prove themselves, even to men who aren’t trying to start anything. “

Just wow dude.  You have no idea do you.  It seems like you’ve talked with, or at least talked at with women and the point they were making grazed you as it flew over your head.  Everything in patriarchy that women do is called into question.  Women usually have to work twice as hard, just to stay even with their male counterparts. 

   Perhaps just for instant exercise that withered area of your brain that is in charge of empathy and imagine what it would be like if you were not in the default category of male human, that your competence was questioned at every turn. 

   Might make you a little defensive and quick to react no? 

“It makes a guy constantly on edge because he is afraid she will start an argument.”

Getting called out on your shit isn’t a pleasant experience.   Oh my fair summer child, the patriarchy is strong with you. 

“Also, in my experience, successful women can be more likely to find faults in their partner and be critical, rather than accept him as is.”

Having standards and not putting up with his shit – ’tis a sin according to Anthony.  Of course women acting like full human beings and not submissive birthmares seems to put all the bees in Anthony’s bonnet.  Women with high standards and low tolerance for bullshit seem to be quite literally Anthony’s kryptonite.  Tough cookies to you Anthony, but believe it or not females are fully human beings with similarly important dreams and aspirations that, *gasp* may not centre around what a dude wants. :) 

 

These are not good for women and men in society, let’s do our best not to replicate them. No thanks to Anthony mind you…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A series of screen caps of the cast replying to the notion that Wonder Woman *isn’t* a feminist icon.

  The scene from the movie being referenced is when Wonder Woman walks into a political/military meeting, of course its filled with dudes who immediately get their feathers ruffled about have a mere woman in their midst while the great male minds make weighty decisions.  WW has no fucks to give and despite the misogyny proceeds to get shit done, not being silenced and most definitely not acting like a ‘proper’ woman.

It’s right there folks, that is how we know when we have made actual progress, when a woman can do something and it appears to be natural and part of the status quo.  Just imagine the female pioneers in the hard sciences and how they must have felt surrounding by the men contaminated with the social norms that make them look at females as inferior and second class.   When females can simply exist and do their thing -just like men get to do by default – we’ll know we’ve made progress, till then it is still struggle against the patriarchal status quo.

Sexist and misogynistic shit still goes on and it needs to change so hopefully soon we can make movies about how awkward it was in 2017 that women had to fight for their right to be recognized as fully human.

Update:

 

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