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There was a time when religion commissioned great and wondrous art. Awe-inspiring cathedrals were built by the most grand and innovative architects. Beautiful music for masses were composed by the greatest musical minds in history. Religious paintings were created with skills and passion that have yet to be matched, even hundreds of years later. Art was the bright silver lining to the otherwise horrifying and cataclysmic storm cloud of religion. However, that was long ago and that silver lining has since been swallowed up by the black abyss. All that is left is a shit-storm of horribly lame, morally reprehensible, and just plain awful media that is christian pop culture.

The religious will rip off and bastardize anything in order to push their message, with no regard for or understanding of the source material. Whether it be a nauseatingly horrendous christian rock band or an offensively clueless rally video, only one thing is clear. There is no limit to how objectively bad something is, as long as a church can get behind the message.

For your consideration I present two new low points. Be warned. These are so very terrible that I was convinced they were fake at first. Please do not eat for 30 minutes before or after watching these. Your stomach may not be able to handle it.

First we have a trailer for an upcoming Romantic Comedy. The trailer shows neither comedy nor romance, instead it focuses on a cameo by Mike Huckabee  talking about legislating anti-abortion laws. The Friendly Atheist has written up a few more details if you’re interested.


Just in case you still have your lunch down, I’ve saved the worst for last. Imagine the most awkward, desperate to be considered ‘cool’ by the kiddies, palm-through-the-face-into-the-back-of-your-skull bad PSA you’ve ever seen. Increase the uncomfortable embarrassment by a couple orders of magnitude. Multiply it by some unbelievable cultural insensitivity, then again by a massive helping of asinine theistic delusion. It should give you something wrong on so many levels, that it may have gone fractally wrong. Something like this:

 

 

I think the worst part is I want to have hope. I’d like to think that, given the right circumstances, people could see their religion for the hoax that it is. That their blinders could be removed and the atrocities in the name of religion would stop. But if they are so far gone as to think putrid ass gravy like this can pass as entertainment, I don’t think that hope has a chance.

Vi Hart is truly amazing. Awe inspiring yet accessible, sublime yet exciting, her videos are strange, wonderful, fun, educational, and so many other great things combined.

Now it’s time to expand your mind with a delightful explanation and demonstration of Shepard Tones

 

I saw this today and I had to put it up. Enjoy some history, some math, some copywrite commentary, and some wonderful music, all delightfully wrapped together by the fantastic ViHart. Enjoy!

 

Playing an instrument enhances your cognitive abilities.  I just wonder if they’ll find a way to motivate people to practice. :)

 

Merry Christmas Charlie Brown!

On Dec. 9th, 1965 – 49 years ago – nearly half of the US population tuned in to A Charlie Brown Christmas by Charles Schultz, an animated broadcast that featured the music of the Vince Guaraldi Trio.

Prior to its debut, producers were worried it was too religious, and the soundtrack was too jazz cutting edge for children’s programming. Were they ever wrong! 15 million homes had eyes glued to that broadcast, and it has since become an iconic Christmas classic.

Jerry Granelli, a drummer and a long time native of Halifax, NS is the only surviving member of that original trio. On December 7th of this year the Jerry Granelli Trio toured a show called Tales of A Charlie Brown Christmas that featured all the music from that original broadcast.

Here they are doing the true classic, Linus and Lucy.

Hymns suck. And I don’t just mean in moral or rational sense, though they definitely suck in those areas as well. I mean musically. They are absolutely wretched. As a fledgeling choral singer, I’m aware of some wonderfully fantastic religious based pieces that are beautiful to listen to and sing, filled with ludicrous immorality though they may be. But those pieces aren’t for the congregation. They are much to difficult and stimulating. No. The order of the day is simplicity and monotony to lull the brain to sleep, priming it for whatever indoctrinated message pasted nakedly across the song. Repetitive droning is key to drilling ugly ideas into the poor minds of parishioners. Of course, if you don’t buy into the B.S, then all you get is a hellishly dull experience that you wouldn’t call ‘music’ even at your most cynical.

If you haven’t checked out the godless comedy of Mitchell and Webb yet, I highly recommend you do so. Today’s viewing, from Series 4:Episode 3, according to David of Mitchell, presents a satirical look at not only the plodding tediousness  of hymns, but also the inherent offensiveness of religion, no matter how happy a face they try to draw on it.

In our name, let us mock.

We need more of this in our music scene because frankly, the omnipresent bland radio pop (A big unthankyou to CBC radio 2 for adding more of this soul withering drivel to my listening day) bores the everliving fuck out of me.  So hit me with some hard rock hallelujah any day of the week and I will be appreciative.

And no, it doesn’t get better and that is why its *great*.  :)

Speaking of the “great” category – BOOM – Cezar from Romania nails this performance.  Gold pure sonic gold.

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