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sirens_call  I cannot identify what it is with dudes and radical feminism.  There must be some strange extra-sensory siren call that attracts dudes and dudely opinion to articles, blogs, and heck even just mere information about women speaking unequivocally about their experiences and analysis of society.  Of course the attraction is just one part of this warlocks brew, the most infuriating part is that the dudes once attracted, have the overwhelming desire… nay with seemingly single-minded animus to grandiloquently extrude their man-centric opinion blithely into feminist conversation.  At the very same time,said dudes, expect to be taken seriously with all the gravitas and respect they usually receive while intoning their manly wizdom.

Concomitantly,  dudes assume that their experience is just the same as everyone else in society(??) and thus, without research or understanding, make pronouncements that, to the finely tuned lobes of radical feminists, sound like Grade A, First Tier, patriarchally laced bullshit.   Once called on their bullshite phase two sets in, displaying in full glory the fragility of the male ego and the ensuing stampede, to either Godwin,Flouce or have a full blown mantrum as they exit from the thread.   Let me assure you gentle readers, this cycle of male-fail is a most dependable and curious clockwork…  But I digress.  The RPOJ has leapt into my hand quivering in anticipation of the justice about to be dispensed.

Today friends we delve deep into the world of dudes explaining Radical Feminism AND misandry – all in one post – who would have known it was soooooo easy.  Let’s put on our swashbuckling pantaloons and join The Brain in the Jar; hmm…lets tighten that up a bit and go with Shit for Brains (SfB); and watch as he puts on his Mansplaining boots and beats all your favourite strawfeminist arguments to death.

The original post by ‘Brain in a Jar: Of Radical Feminism and Misandry’ ,in all its glory can be found here.

—–

“Whenever I bring up the subject of feminism, I always hear about those crazy extremists who really are all about hating men. I’m sure they exist.”

  Well if you only talk to other dudes and MRA’s why of course you are going to get a nuance free view of feminism and feminists.  Looking beyond your own bias is hard, and who the fuck wants to do that?

“There plenty of crazy ideas out there, and misandry is actually saner compared to them.”

   Awww! Lookit SfB put on this big-boy-boots of equality and deep understanding, to show how amazingly aware he is of what he’s prevaricating on about.

“Women are also parrt of the dating game, so the terrible of reality of people wanting to have sex with you but not be in a relationship must have taken its toll on some. The thing is, these people can never refer to an example of such a radical feminist.”

  Editing, what the fuck is it?  Also, did you catch the subtle(?) hostility toward women?  I mean isn’t it totally obvs that women are in the position of power when it comes to dating and relationships? (*eyes rolling into back of head*) That whole male violence/rape culture stuff those feminists prattle on about sure clouds the issue about those bitches not knowing their place and bowing to my ‘peen.

“They also don’t see that misandry and feminism, even the radical version, are two seperate things.. You can point out misandry all you want, and if it makes sense I’ll get behind you. It’ll never be a solid criticism of feminism or radical feminism.”

Read the rest of this entry »

flickeringlightA big hearty frack you goes out to the mind games and other assorted BS that goes on society.  If you see it, acknowledge it and name it for what it is.  You won’t make friends, but life too short to hang around people who deviously manipulate other people.
gaslight1gaslight2gaslight3

The notion we have a fair playing field, a balance, whatever you’d like to call it is quite patently false.  We have not all just fallen out of some sort of Rawlsian simulator into a just society.  Injustice and anti-egalitarian ideals are normative in society, they are the water we swim in, the air we breathe.  Otherwise interactions like the below just wouldn’t happen.

hair

 

 

hair2

Yet I still hear people everday proclaiming that we are ‘done’ with feminism and that ‘for all intensive purposes’ the sexes are treated equally in society.

Horsefeathers to those notions, I say.

 

attachment theory pic      To be honest, I could excerpt most of Bowlby’s book.  It is that good.  However, little things like time and copyright concerns limit me to providing some of the highlights of attachment theory and how big a change it was from traditional psychoanalysis.

“The first is to provide the patient with a secure base from which he can explore the various unhappy and painful aspects of his life, past and present, many of which he finds it difficult or perhaps impossible to think about and reconsider without a trusted companion to provide support, encouragement, sympathy, and, on occasion, guidance. 

A second is to assist the patient in his explorations by encouraging him to consider the ways in which he engages in relationships with significant figures in his current life, what his expectations are for his own feelings and behaviour and for those of other people, what unconscious biases he may be bringing when he selects a person with whom he hopes to make an intimate relationship and when he creates situations that go badly for him.

   A particular relationship that the therapist encourages the patient to examine, and that constitutes the third task, is the relationship between the two of them.  Into this the patient will import all of those perceptions, constructions, and expectations of how an attachment figure is likely to feel and behave towards him that his working models of parents and self dictate. 

  A fourth task is to encourage the patient to consider how his current perceptions and expectations and the feelings and actions to which they give risepicture25 may be the product either of the events and situations he encountered during his childhood and adolescence, especially those with his parents, or else as the products of what he may repeatedly have been told by them.  This is often a painful and difficult process and not infrequently requires the therapist sanction his patient to consider as possibilities ideas and feelings about his parents that he has hitherto regarded as unimaginable and unthinkable.  In doing so a patent may find himself moved by strong emotions and urges to action, some directed towards his parents and some towards the therapist, and many of which he finds frightening and/or alien and unacceptable.

    The therapist’s fifth task is to enable his patient to recognize that his images (models) of himself and others, derived either from past painful experiences or from misleading messages emanating from a parent, but all to often in the literature mislabelled as ‘fantasies’, may or may not be appropriate to his present future; or indeed, may never have been justified.  Once he has grasped the nature of his governing images (models) and has traced their origins, he may begin to understand what has led him to see the world and himself as he does and so to feel, to think, and to act in the way he does.

   He is then in a position to reflect on the accuracy and adequacy of those images (models), and on the ideas and actions to which they lead, in the light of his current experiences of emotionally significant people, including the therapist as well as his parents, and of himself in relationships to each.  Once the process has started he begins to see the old images (models) for what they are, the not unreasonable products of his past experiences or of what he has repeatedly been told, and thus feel free to imagine alternatives better fitted to his current life.  By these means the therapist hopes to enable his patient to cease being a slave to old and unconscious stereotypes and to feel, to think, and act in new ways. “

-John Bowlby.  A Secure Base.  pp. 138 – 139.

Now I like me some psychology and here is the thing; these five points share much with Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), and it looks so simple on paper, yet in the real world the therapeutic process is fraught with so many difficulties and variables.

I often substitute teach with at-risk children and let me assure you,  I use any/all of what is said by Bowlby.  How do you learn when you don’t feel safe?  The quick answer is nothing, but as even this brief quotation shows there is so much that goes into how we react to situations and our learned set of responses to them.

attachment-types

Quite an effective argument.

Against human trafficking? Against slavery?  Necessarily, you must also be against pornography.

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