It has come to the attention of credible journalists and serious Christian scholars, that Starbucks – owned by a JEW!!! – hates Baby Jesus, Christians, and Christmas, and has been trying to subvert and destroy Christian America(TM)’s sacred Christmas traditions, by gradually removing Christian imagery from its Holiday CHRISTmas red cups! Clearly the End Times are upon us, as persecution of Christians everywhere ramps up to levels unheard of in modern times!
I have undertaken to document Starbucks’ dastardly deed over the last 11 years, so that evidence of their perfidious treachery will be preserved – the Internet is forever!!! Below the cut: my trenchant analysis of the anti-Christian trend of Starbucks’ Holiday CHRISTmas cup imagery!
2005
Clearly a very Christian cup. Luke 2: 731-462 describes how, after Mary and Joseph found lodging in a stable, they made it more comfortable and homey by decorating it for Christmas, like the devout Christians they were. Putting up the Christmas lights, and choosing LEDs to minimize the fire hazard, occupies no less than fifteen verses.
2006
Unfortunately it’s somewhat difficult to see what’s going on with this cup, but because America was still a Christian Nation back in 2006, I’m positive that the feet we can see, are shepherds and wise men all headed to Bethlehem.
2007
Again, it’s hard to see what’s going on here. The word “cheer”, on the one hand, reminds us that only Christians can have cheerful celebrations in the dark days of mid-winter because only Christ can make a dark heart bright; on the other hand, the introduction of the colour blue is the first hint of anti-Christian sentiment, since blue is often associated with Judaism. Clearly the acknowledgement of the existence of religions other than Christianity is a calculated affront. The only celebration going on in mid-winter is CHRISTmas.
2008
While 2008’s election of a non-American Muslim marks an inflection point in America’s precipitous slide into godlessness, designs for Christmas cups would have had to be finalized before the results of the election were known, so this year’s cup escaped OBUMMER’s chilling effect. The snowflakes on this cup clearly reference Luke 2: 746, which describes how it doesn’t snow in Bethlehem so Mary and Joseph cut out paper snowflakes and sprayed the windows of the stable with white goop to make it look more Christmasy. A welcome retreat from the radicalism of the previous year.
2009
With OBUMMER in power for a year, you can see the anti-Christian influence in the interesting dichotomy here. Luke 2: 800-809 describes Mary and Joseph’s Christmas tree that they erected next to the manger, but the words on the depicted ornaments ARE NOT BIBLE VERSES. SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM! CHRISTIANS’ FREE SPEECH IS BEING REPRESSED!
2010
Anti-Christianity clearly creeping in here. The red and green colour scheme is traditional for Christmas, but it doesn’t snow in Bethlehem, so clearly the snowflakes are alluding to the modern, commercial, de-Christified, “Holiday Season” CHRISTmas. Much worse than that, Starbucks caved to the Feminazis at NOW by depicting a woman alone and neither pregnant nor surrounded by children. She has quite obviously left her husband; killed her children with the help of the BABY PART VENDORS at Planned Parenthood; and now practices witchcraft, is destroying capitalism, and has become a lesbian.
2011
Clear disregard for the Nativity. For the zillionth time, NO SNOW IN BETHLEHEM. Therefor no ice-skating either. And not only that, these skaters are cleverly disguised dogwhistles for Liberal moral degenerates. The man on the left is clearly a homosexual, because straight men never wear scarves. The woman in the center appears to be performing a Sun Salutation, from the occult practice of Yoga, which has been shown to cause demonic possession! And finally, on the right, we have a dog appearing to mount a man – whatever Liberals say about gay marriage not being a slippery slope, this cup gives it all away: LIBERALS REALLY DO WANT TO GAY MARRY THEIR PETS!
2012
The disregard for the Nativity intensifies. And they know what they’re doing, that’s why the snowman is winking obscenely.
2013
There are no Bible verses referencing poinsettias in the Nativity story. And eight-pointed stars? What kind of pagan symbol is that?!
2014
The abstract-looking design of these cups references Liberal atheist feminist post-modern intellectual socialist fascist elites’ disdain for the moral rectitude of institutionalized religion!
2015
GREEN IS THE COLOUR OF ISLAM AND RED IS THE COLOUR OF SATAN!!!!! CLEARLY STARBUCKS IS COLLUDING WITH ISIS AND THIS IS PROOF THAT UN-AMERICAN MUSLIM PRESIDENT OBUMMER IS THE ANTICHRIST!
THEY MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS!!!!!!
Vote Trump in 2016, because he is taking this shit and running with it, so clearly he is on the side of the righteous!
And remember, it’s MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS, MOTHERFUCKERS!!
5 comments
November 15, 2015 at 4:42 am
violetwisp
I’m so glad you’ve shown us this descent into hell on earth. Hilarious!
LikeLike
November 15, 2015 at 5:34 am
john zande
If I were still a Christian, i’d be embarrassed by this nonsense. I therefore say, “Thank you, Sir, may I have another!” :)
LikeLike
November 15, 2015 at 7:24 am
Steve Ruis
Brilliant! A little over the top, though … ;o)
Sheesh, with all of the real problems one could address, we are treated to such bullshit based upon even more bullshit.
LikeLike
November 15, 2015 at 5:08 pm
bleatmop
There is a war on Christmas? Where do I sign up? Mass senseless consumerism mixed with Christian cultural imperialism sounds like a great thing to fight against!
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 15, 2015 at 5:18 pm
The Intransigent One
You think I’m being over the top? Our Serious Christian Scholar just posted a video accusing Starbucks of selling “abortion coffee”. http://www.queerty.com/starbucks-latest-offense-is-killing-babies-according-to-unhinged-antigay-pastor-20151112?utm_source=bb82&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=artname&ts_pid=30&utm_content=inf_10_80_2
LikeLike