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Snapped at a red light on the way home last week
This ad only makes sense in the presence of the following cultural subtext:
Women’s anger is not valid in the same way that full adult humans’ (i.e. men’s) anger is valid. You don’t need to get to the root of the problem and address it; just spend the right amount of money to show you love her. She couldn’t possibly be having a reasonable reaction to being treated badly, she’s just feeling insecure or jealous or maybe on her period.
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8 comments
September 5, 2015 at 12:33 am
roughseasinthemed
And flowers solve everything with irrational beings don’t they?
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September 5, 2015 at 2:03 am
chekistocrat
Also, I think, that women are perceived as childlike and easily appeased. As you might give a crying child a sweetie to calm it down, so you give angry women flowers.
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September 5, 2015 at 4:07 am
myatheistlife
Well, tell women that they should not be happy with this resolution. As long as they are happy with it, as long as they seek it… well, this will continue
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September 5, 2015 at 1:16 pm
syrbal-labrys
I saw the most horrible billboard for a dentist’s office this week. It said you needed a “first in show smile” and had a picture of a pig with a lipsticked human female smile. Wow, just fucking wow.
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September 6, 2015 at 3:13 pm
The Arbourist
@Syrbal
Anychance you can get a pic of that? We have a collection of sorts started here and are always looking for submissions.
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September 6, 2015 at 3:18 pm
syrbal-labrys
Hmm, maybe next time I get to town…
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September 6, 2015 at 3:21 pm
The Arbourist
@MAL
I’m curious MAL as to how people being ‘happy’ with a particular state of affairs has to do with combating the systemic oppression of a particular group, in this case females.
Are black people happy with being shot and incarcerated at a greater rate in the US? Are they ‘seeking it’?
Dealing with structural oppression is a class based problem – feminism attempts to address this problem and others like it in society.
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September 6, 2015 at 5:48 pm
myatheistlife
DWR, I will give you that point and then point again to the confusion that human relationships and cultural ‘norms’ put in the picture. She’s mad but the culture and women themselves tell men that buying them gifts is how to show them love. On the one hand what you point out is totally valid, on the other hand society is very confused. A kid of 18 or 20 is supposed to figure this out on their own? Try telling a woman you’re not buying her flowers just because society or some company says that you should – her reaction is that you don’t love her. The reciprocal of that is that to show you love her buy flowers. Half of society are female and they could do a lot to put this to rest by not doing the things that confuse others. Am I victim blaming with this? I don’t think so. A relationship is personal, not public property and not subject to the rules of society despite one or more participants buying into society’s rules on relationships. As long as women will demand flowers to show love men will show love by buying flowers.
I know that you think this is wrong, I get it. I’m not arguing with you. I’m just saying that there is more to this than simply demanding that people not do advertisements like that. They’re deep in the game of life and in that game women want visible material demonstrations of love… flowers, candy, jewellery and so on. Until that stops there is no hope of fighting this slanted view of women. I don’t buy flowers on such occasions. I save that for a day when I just happen to think of her and want to say hey, thanks for being you. More often she’d rather I do something in the garden than buy something which will die. My point is still valid even if you don’t like it.
Everyone, women and men, perpetuate these problematic attitudes. That you do not does not mean that 87% of all other women are not. When you ask society to change you have to ask all of it to change or no change will happen. Sill, I know, but that is how it works. At least that is what I’ve seen so far.
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