I am going to start this post with a big fat trigger warning: incest, sexual abuse of children, adults in positions of power revictimizing survivors of sexual abuse, victim-blaming, gaslighting. This is a post about some seriously sick and fucked up shit.
The story about the oldest son in the Duggar family of (former) hit TV show 19 Kids and Counting, having molested several of his very young sisters, as well as at least one non-relative, is old news by now. (Story here if you aren’t familiar with it. Trigger warnings abound.)
There are any number of angles I could take on this story: how the adults who should have been protecting those little girls, instead circled the wagons to protect the family’s reputation; the social, religious, and political connections that may have been leveraged to keep this quiet as long as it was; the possibility that the TV station was aware (at least of rumours) of some of this and just kept the show going for years; Josh’s gross fauxpology; the rampant prevalence of sexual abuse of girls and women in Dominionist and Quiverfull sects; the way Christians are acting like the Duggars are being persecuted; the claim Christians make that an alleged human sacrifice 2000 years ago makes everything OK now; the Christian emphasis on forgiveness and turning the other cheek, that is so easily and often used to silence victims and empower abusers.
I want to talk about those little girls. Michelle Duggar (their mom) says they received counselling. She didn’t give specifics, but considering that actual licensed therapists are mandatory reporters, and mandatory reports were not made, we can assume the counselling was of a less-formal variety. It so happens that the organization that is the source of many of the Duggars’ beliefs, and produces much of their home-school curriculum, the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP), has a lesson plan for counselling survivors of sexual abuse. It is horrifying. Nearly every point victim-blames and/or displays callous disregard for the survivor’s pain. Image of the document after the break.
I am going to leave a point by point analysis to the writers at Recovering Grace (which I highly recommend reading in detail if you have the stomach), because they have the understanding of the cultural buzzwords, the personal experience, and the temperance to be eloquent rather than mash the keyboard in rage like I want to. All I can say is…
IF abused was not at fault ?!
IF?!
bleatmop
Mystro
The Arbourist
Dead Wild Roses 
4 comments
May 31, 2015 at 6:11 am
robert browning
Thanks for your posts on this story/ topic. So sad that those in power control the systems and debate that ultimately prevent grassroots enlightenment.
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May 31, 2015 at 1:16 pm
bleatmop
How religion poisons everything, episode #3432085372404913480132. I am hardly surprised that they go straight to victim blaming. If you blame the victim then you get to both silence them and not have to take any further action other than saying “don’t get caught again” to the rapist. This isn’t the first time that I’ve heard of religion laying cover for rapists and I doubt it will be the last.
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May 31, 2015 at 2:57 pm
Sedate Me
Far be it from me to mock seriously fucked up shit that’s probably too serious to be mocked (aka. my standard M.O.) but…
You mean to tell me that a couple of right-wing, home-schooling, kooks who belong to religious movements centuries past their “best-before” dates, and who have a Reality TV show based entirely upon their ability to pop kids out like the Catholic Family in Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life
…well, that it turns out that one of their kids grew up to do something disgusting and reprehensible? What are the odds?
Sorry, but I just did NOT see that coming from a 1,000km away! Next, you’re going to tell me that Liberace was gay. Or, that the “rule bending” cop will catch the bad guy at the end of the show, thanks to his “bending” of the rules. Or, that capitalism favours those with the most capital.
I know nothing about these professional breeders beyond the fact they have a show on the ironically named The Learning Channel. The very name of their show tells me all I really need to know; that they’re freaks who believe the sole purpose of women is shoot babies out their vaginas like Gatling Guns.
Reality TV is created by sociopaths, stars mentally ill fame-whores and is broadcast to a nation of bored, spoiled, sadists. Every part of it is the product of an insane society hellbent on destroying itself.
Other thoughts before I take a shower to try to clean all this off:
1) This story was broken by InTouch??? I think that’s almost as ironically (non?)funny as The Learning Channel showing nothing but ignorant freak shows with no redeeming value.
I expect nothing better from the show/network than attempts to cover up this, or anything else, that would damage the value of their “intellectual property”. They may have even known before the show aired and their risk/benefit analysis told them to go for it anyway.
2) It’s really easy to give a “heartfelt” apology and full admission of guilt…after the Statute of Limitations is up and you can no longer be punished for your crimes. Makes me all warm & fuzzy about that sister-fucking shit-sack.
Although, when your mom cranks that many kids out and at breakneck speed, it probably diminishes your ability to properly value human life. “So what? Another one will be here in 5-10 minutes.”
3) I agree with your response to “if the victim is not at fault.” Even if such a thing were possible, it would only be relevant in uncovering a “motive” that undoubtedly stems from other incidents of abuse. (IE Uncle Jimmy does this with me all the time!) Although, I somehow doubt the likelihood of that actually happening. The other curious part is about the guilt for “not reporting it”, which implies it should be reported.
In a completely backward ass, unintentional, way, a sliver of something….mildly positive….wiggles through the dark cloud of utter delusion, Biblical references that double as secret code and an overall approach that appears designed to re-victimize.
But I can see how some delusional folks honestly believe this is caring, compassionate and helpful. But that just adds to how fucked up it all is.
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May 31, 2015 at 2:58 pm
Sedate Me
Someday, I’m going to learn how NOT to embed videos.
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