“Assassin’s Creed 4 marks the first step into next gen for the franchise. Learn how AC4 utilizes next gen technology to create realistic oceans, dynamic weather systems, ambient lighting, and seamless ship boarding.” – Ubisoft Team

Thanks Ubisoft for making a nice looking ocean and flora that bends with the rainfall.  You know what would actually be revolutionary?  A female as the lead role in the game.  That my besotted dudelly programming/marketing types would be fucking revolutionary.

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Yerp! Efforts to maintain historical accuracy prevent Ubisoft from having a female protagonist. Concomitantly, it enables them to continue to act like complete bags of douche!

You know what isn’t revolutionary  but more of the standard 365, 24/7, misogyny hailstorm women deal with *since forever*, are interviews like this:

Ubisoft steered clear of making the Assassin’s Creed III protagonist a female character because the game’s setting is not a strong match, according to creative director Alex Hutchinson. Speaking to Kotaku, Hutchinson said the American Revolution time period is all about men. “It’s always up in the air,” Hutchinson said. “I think lots of people want it, [but] in this period it’s been a bit of a pain. The history of the American Revolution is the history of men.”

Oh! Because you are making a historically accurate document and are entering Assassin’s Creed 3 into the Library of Congress NON-fiction.   Jebus-dancing-christ-on-a-pogostick.  It’s a historically inaccurate run around stab festival with historical trappings, nothing more.

“There are a few people, like John Adams’ wife, [Abigail]–they tried very hard in the [HBO series John Adams] to not make it look like a bunch of dudes, but it really is a bunch of dudes,” he added.

Are you fucking kidding me? You’re saying because of an HBO special you can’t possibly put a woman as lead character?  This sort of vapid prolix is industry standard when it comes to worshipping the all mighty ‘peen.  It is based on nothing but ignorance and misogyny.  If you bothered to look you would see women play just as important role in the revolution as men did (time to google women’s role in the AR?  5 seconds), but as with much of history we favour the male based narrative.

The Assassin’s Creed franchise has bent the books of history before, but Hutchinson admitted that doing so in Assassin’s Creed III could be problematic.

“It felt like, if you had all these men in every scene and you’re secretly, stealthily in crowds of dudes [as a female assassin], it starts to feel kind of wrong,” he said. “People would stop believing it.”

Ah yes because jumping off of 3 to 7 story buildings into conveniently placed bales of hay is stone fucking cold reality.  See below about the suddenly all important believably factor…

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No Hutchinson dude, I’m calling shenanigans on this polished crown of turds you’re calling an explanation.  You are talking out of your ass trying to avoid the issue: that is the money that greases your skids won’t pay for a female protagonist.

And admitting that you are too fucking in love with $$ to truly make a revolutionary game doesn’t look good in the press.   So lets see where was that quote….

“Assassin’s Creed 4 marks the first step into next gen for the franchise. Learn how AC4 utilizes next gen technology to create realistic oceans, dynamic weather systems, ambient lighting, and seamless ship boarding.” – Ubisoft Team

Take your oceans, your pretty lights and and whatever other techno-wank you’re peddling and kindly frak-off.

Come back when you have something that actually qualifies as “revolutionary“.