Full marks for making fun of phony social constructs. :)

Great video, bad comments section automatically confirming the necessity of said video.

 

Another grand video -

A post that deserves to be amplified.  Thank you BB for your words and your insight.

 

“However, you all would be amazed if you saw the sheer number of men who get ragingly pissed off by this post. For that reason alone I thought that it was worth reposting so today I’m copying it to this new post, just because I think it’ll be alot of fun to visit memory lane.”

 

The Rapist Checklist

Some things to remember…

  1. You are a rapist if you get a girl drunk and have sex with her.

  2. You are a rapist if you find a drunk girl and have sex with her.

  3. You are a rapist if you get yourself drunk and have sex with her. Your drunkeness is no excuse.

  4. If you are BOTH drunk you may still be a rapist.

  5. If she’s alternating between puking her guts out and passing out in the bed then you’re a rapist.

  6. If she’s sleeping and you have sex with her you’re a rapist.

  7. If she’s unconscious and you have sex with her then you’re a rapist.

  8. If she’s taking sleeping pills and doesn’t wake up when you have sex with her then you’re a rapist.

  9. If she is incapacitated in any way and unable to say ‘Yes’ then you’re a rapist.

  10. If you drug her then you’re a rapist.

  11. If you find a drugged girl and have sex with her then you’re a rapist.

  12. If you don’t bother to ask her permission and she says neither ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ then you could be a rapist.

  13. You are a rapist if you ‘nag’ her for sex. Because you manage to ply an eventual ‘yes’ from a weary victim doesn’t mean it’s not rape. You are a rapist.

  14. You are a rapist if you try to circumvent her “No” by talking her into it. She’s not playing hard to get, and, even if she IS it’s not YOUR responsibility to ‘get’ her. You’re still a rapist.

  15. You are a rapist if you manipulate her into sex when she doesn’t otherwise want it. If you say, “If you loved me you’d do X” then you’re a rapist. If you say, “All the other kids are doing it!” then you’re a rapist.

  16. If you threaten her, or act in a way that SHE thinks you’re threatening her then you’re a rapist. If you puff up and get loud and frustrated while trying to ‘talk’ her into sex then you’re a rapist.

  17. You are a rapist if you don’t immediately get your hands off of her when she says ‘no’. You are a rapist if you take your hands off of her and then put them back ON her after 10 minutes and she eventually ‘gives in’ to this tactic.

  18. You are a rapist if you won’t let her sleep peacefully without waking her every 15 minutes asking her for sex. Sleep depravation is a form of torture and YOU are a rapist.

  19. If you’re necking with her and you’re naked and you’ve already gone down on her and she says ‘No’ to sex with you and you have sex with her anyway then you’re a rapist.

  20. If you’re engaged in intercourse and she says ‘No’ at ANY point and you don’t immediately stop then you’re a rapist.

  21. If she said “Yes” to sex with a condom and that condom breaks and you proceed anyway then you’re a rapist.

  22. If she picked you up at a bar looking for sex and then decides that she doesn’t WANT sex and you continue then you’re a rapist.

  23. If she changes her mind at ANY point for ANY reason and you don’t immediately back off or you try to talk her into it and get sex anyway then you’re a rapist.

  24. If you don’t hit her and she says ‘No’ you’re still a rapist.

  25. If you don’t have a knife or a gun or a garrote and she says ‘No’ then you’re still a rapist.

  26. If you’re a friend of hers you can still be a rapist.

  27. If you had sex with her the night before but she doesn’t want morning sex and you pressure her for it anyway then you’re a rapist.

  28. If you’re her husband you can still be a rapist.

  29. If it’s your wedding night and she doesn’t WANT to have sex with you and you force or coerce her anyway then you’re a rapist.

  30. If she’s had sex with you hundreds of times before but doesn’t want to on the 101st time then you’re a rapist.

  31. If you penetrate her anally, orally or digitally against her will then YOU my friend, are ALSO a rapist.

  32. Women do not owe you sex.

  33. Buying her dinner does not entitle you to sex.

  34. Paying her mortgage does not entitle you to sex.

  35. Buying her clothing does not entitle you to sex.

  36. Buying her lingerie does not entitle you to sex. It also doesn’t mean that she has any obligation to wear that lingerie around you.

  37. Spending any amount of money on her does not, ever, entitle you to sex.

  38. Seeing her legs or cleavage does not entitle you to sex.

  39. If she ‘turns you on’ you’re not entitled to sex.

  40. If she has fucked every man in a 10 square mile radius and she doesn’t want to fuck you and you have sex with her anyway, then you’re a rapist.

  41. Her clothing is not a reason for you to rape her. Her LACK of clothing is no reason to rape her. If she’s wearing a thong and pasties you STILL have no right to rape her.

  42. If she’s a prostitute and she says “No” then you’re a rapist.

  43. If she’s a stripper and she says “No” then you’re a rapist. Likewise, if she’s a stripper and she’s been rubbing against your dick all night long and you follow her to her car and have sex with her against her will then you are ALSO a rapist.

  44. If you watch a woman being raped without calling the authorities then you’re as bad as a rapist and you may also be a rapist yourself.

  45. If you don’t fight rape then you accept rape.

  46. If you don’t believe a woman when she says she was raped then you’re encouraging rape.

  47. If you choose to remain friends with a man who raped a woman you are encouraging rape.

  48. If you confess to the authorities that you raped a woman it does not exonerate you. You are not suddenly a model of good behavior.

  49. If you ‘only’ raped one woman, you’re STILL a rapist.

  50. You cannot tell who is a rapist by the way they look. Rapists are your friends, your brothers, your fathers and you won’t know it.

  51. Do not get frustrated with a woman if she doesn’t trust you. SHE already knows that rapists don’t wear signs on their foreheads. Something you think is innocuous SHE may find terrifying.

children   Religion doesn’t just happen in the 21st century in the West.   Religion must be instilled into children, magic and fable must be taught to be revered and most darkly, the fear of eternal punishment must be enshrined in young minds.

Hell for children is a very real fear – it torments their thoughts and causes a great deal of unnecessary anxiety.  My question to the religious is simply this:

Why make your children fearful?

Isn’t there enough to worry about life with regards to food, shelter, and security to add another imaginary layer of anxiety to the mix?  Is that a responsible action to take as a parent?

Of course it isn’t.

Being afraid for yourself is not a great motivator for ethical action, and yet that is the implicit lesson that resonates through so much of religious teaching.  Consider also how the fallacy inducing mode of binary thinking is encouraged and reinforced.  You are good with Jebus and bad the the Devil… etc.  Serious ethical actions and thoughts require moving past that first easy binary of good and evil because almost every encounter we have as individuals in society is a mixed bag of ethical and unethical choices and behaviours.

Stating moral relativism here always leads to the conclusion that somewhere down the line – anything and everything will be permissible.  Given that the last 1700 hundred years or so of religious dominance in the field of ethical behaviour I would have to say that absolute morality path isn’t exactly a slam dunk either, as far as worthwhile moral systems are concerned.

I’m always here on Sundays giving both barrels to religion and its antiquated notions of how the world is – seldom do I offer what I would like to see happen instead of the religious tomfoolery so easily demarcated and dispatched.

The vision I have is one that requires a society that understands how ill equipped our species is for rational, logical thought.  Bearing that in mind no expense must be spared to raise children in a safe, welcoming, and stimulating environment in which the only worry they will have is what new thing they will learn after lunch.

How far off is this goal?

Too damn far away.  Every time I’ve been called to a kindergarten or pre-k class some of the children there have come to school hungry.  Nothing defeats curiosity and learning like an empty belly.  Too many times I’ve been empty handed at lunch, because I’d already distributed my lunch to other children, yet there was yet another to feed.  (Don’t worry we always find something).

I need my society to realize how important it is for all children to have the basics of life taken care before I can start helping them explore and comprehend the world around them.

Bringing this back to religion and the insecurity it supposed to soothe – how about some more focus on doing ‘good works’ rather than all the political nonsense currently dominating the religious sphere.  How awesome would it be to have another volunteer (religious or not) in every classroom there to support learning and socialization?

There are so many ways to help children.  The problem being that the outlay of time and emotional investment (for both the secular and religious) is prohibitive; and that, sadly,  is structural feature of society.

The lived experiences of women are fundamentally different than men.  Go to This Ain’t Livin’ blog for the full post.

“This is the society we live in: it’s difficult for women and people socialised as women to assert their boundaries because they were trained to have no boundaries, and consequently, have to build them up as adults. It’s hard for us to scream in people’s faces, or say ‘no,’ and we have to learn this — which is why some self-defense classes have entire programs dedicated to getting participants to scream, to yell, to shout for help. To get them used to coming at a man wearing heavy gear, pounding at him with all they’ve got, saying ‘NO!

And the consequence of learning boundaries and creating a safer world for ourselves is that we’re punished for it. We’re oversensitive, we’re bitches, we’re cunts, we’re being ridiculous. This is a society that takes our boundaries away at birth on the basis of the genitals we’re dealt, and then registers deep offense when we seize them back.”

I’m not sure I should be happy or sad that I don’t recognize most of the clips. :)

Add i believe you, it’s not your fault to  your bookmarks, your blog, your whatever.  It is too important not to.

 

The Best Revenge is Living a Good Life.  (TW Rape, Child Abuse)

I am the only female child in my family of four children and I am the youngest. When people hear that, they often think of me as the spoiled little princess child. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I was sexually abused by two of my brothers and, eventually, my father as well. My abused started when I was young. Five or six, I can’t remember exactly. It started with molestation and without my saying no because I was little and I believed my brothers would never hurt me. But they did. Repeatedly. Night after night. Day after day. Things progressed to become more violent when I started saying no. Until one day, after I got home from school when I was 13, my brother raped me. Not the violent act most picture in their minds when they hear the word rape. By this time, I had become numb and would typically “zone out” when the abuse was happening.

My life changed that day. I became pregnant from the one incidence of rape. I am that statistic. I was young and didn’t have regular periods so I didn’t realize I was pregnant until my mother saw stretchmarks on my breasts.

You may wonder, “Where was your mother when all this was happening? Why didn’t you tell your mother?” I suppose deep down, I knew my mother would never “save” me. Her response to the fact that I was pregnant, by my brother, from rape, was to go into another room and cry hysterically while screaming, “My baby!” over and over again though never once coming to “her baby” to console me.

My father arranged for an abortion. I was in my second trimester at this point and had to go to a hospital for the procedure. When my parents “discovered” what my brothers had been doing, they kicked them out of our house. And then my father started waking me up for school in the mornings. He began molesting me.

I contacted Child Protective Services on my own behalf. I was placed in the first of two foster homes. My mother came to see me and, weeping, asked me, “How could you do this to our family?” Eventually, “we” went to trial and…eventually my father admitted his guilt. My brothers were never charged. “We” were sentenced to family counseling and I was told I would be placed in juvenile hall if I did not participate. Fourteen months later, the counselor proclaimed us “healed” and I was placed back into my parents custody. Yes, my father began molesting me again.

But the good news is, I grew older. I eventually moved away from their home. I got married. Got pregnant…

My life changed again. I became the mother to a little tiny princess. Four years later I was blessed with another tiny princess. Both beautiful and strong and everything my heart ever needed to heal. I was still in contact with my family at this point. Then the mother tiger in me was awakened. I had a birthday party for my oldest. I left the party for a few brief moments to get something I had forgotten. When I came back home, the birthday girl was nowhere to be seen. I asked my husband where she was and he said, “She’s in the backyard with your dad.” (Yes, my husband knew about what had happened to me.) I can’t even describe the utter horror, the panic, the fear that coursed through my veins. I found her in the backyard. She was fine. Nothing had happened but the guilt of exposing her to what I knew in my soul was a potential high risk changed me. I cut all ties with my family.

I tried for a while to keep in contact with my mother. Until the day my mother said to me on the phone, “When are you going to get over it?” This conversation took place 15 years ago and I can still hear the words as if they are still floating in the air. My response that day and still is… “How about never?”

This tragic tale may make you feel sorry for me or make it appear that my life has been horrible. I’m here today to share the tragedy but to also share the wonderful life I am living. Never forget, “THE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING A GOOD LIFE.” I am the mother of two gorgeous human beings who humble me and make me proud everyday. I have a fabulous job. I own my own home. I have three dogs who love me unconditionally. I am attending school while working. I go to concerts all the time. I go to the beach. I have a life that many of my friends envy and I know why they do! My happiness overruns constantly. I have a great life.

You will too. Live a good life. Smile. Laugh. Engage in the positive that is out there. Never ever ever feel that the sickness that hurt you defines who you are. You are a blessed child of this Universe and you were made for love. You were made for happiness. Seek it as often as you seek nourishment for your body. Don’t forget to nourish your soul.

I believe you.

It’s not your fault.

It was never your fault.

Love,
Leen

 

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